It seems like being a man these days relies heavily on being a fat bastard. The latest propaganda of the fat agenda is the Hellman’s Mayonnaise commercial. They are trying to promote the new low fat version of their mayonnaise and one man remarks that with the new low fat version its still a “man sandwich”.

Real man, real manwich

The implication is that the low fat Hellman’s taste so good that it is indistinguishable from the full fat version, which helps contribute to a “man sandwich”. What? So being fat is manly? Are heart attacks manly too? What about being so overweight you keep your shirt on at the beach- is that also manly? Has our society’s image of being a man become so degraded that we have to equate undesirable traits with being masculine?

Bald, hairy, and fat; ladies meet your ideal masculine man

Self-denial doesn’t help either; the line I hear from most overweight guys when they confront their obesity is that they have “ten pounds to lose” (its usually more like forty to fifty pounds). Let me put it this way: if you are a guy and your boobs are bigger than your girlfriends, there is a major problem (no its not her bust).

Bras: yes they really are meant only for women

My definition of being a “man” strangely enough does not include being a lazy slob. Feats of strength and accomplishment have been replaced by mediocrity and lack of ambition. Whereas before we might hunt for our food, we now hunt our fridge for double deep fried chicken wings. Another common sign of manliness is getting drunk (especially on light beer).

Another victim of light beer and a poor educational system

Drinking alcohol has been linked to higher levels of estrogen, so unless gyno is now included under “desirable physical attributes of males”, thats a bad thing.

Three things I hate: man boobs, short shorts, and steady state cardio

Put the Doritos down, hit the weights and take that damn sports jersey off; unless you still are active, you look like an oversized child. Now can someone pass me a steak with some mashed cauliflower?

Do you think society projects a distorted image of what it means to be a man?