I probably come across like a food Nazi with my suggestions on how to curb poor food choices and eat healthier. I guess it comes from knowing the disastrous effects of a poor diet. At the same time, life needs balance. Too much work in life becomes boring. Too much dieting, and it begins to feel like a grind. For this reason, it is important to take breaks every now and then to indulge and enjoy yourself. Our ying needs that yang. So, for your amusement ( and my ), let me recount a night of food debauchery.Alcohol also equals shitty bar fights

It began innocently with a Guinness while watching the UFC fights (alcohol=better fights).

Well after not eating for close to five hours. The beast was hungry.

Hungry beast MUST be fed

I figured it was a Saturday night, I’m out on Queen West, its 1:30am, there are plenty of places to go to eat. Wrong. After searching for awhile I came across the Korean Grill House.

Do you know where you are? You’re in the Grill House baby, you gonna fryyyyyyy

 And thats when I read the sign: “All You Can Eat Meat”. Listening to the wise council of my gut, I entered. At $8.99 I was determined to get my moneys worth. Offering pork, beef, chicken, squid, and whitefish, and armed with my bro as my gut wingman, the feast began. Ignoring the vegetables and soup (eating big is serious business), we started grilling up the meat. Unsatisfied with how slow things were going, we started operating two grills at once.

Grilling and Chilling

I honestly think the people working there were scared of us. Meat plate after finished meat plate, we were creating a leaning tower of dead animal carcass. Uninformed about the restaurant closing at 2:30AM, we were kindly asked to leave. Unfinished with our meal, we kept eating. But then we were asked again. And again. And again. Not wanting to foster a bad relationship (who knows when hunger might strike at 1:30AM again), we left, leaving the place nearly bankrupt, employees cursing our names under their breathes, and our guts firmly filled.

This is what happens when I miss one meal, the consumption of entire livestock

So after grabbing a shitty hot dog (fooled by street meat again!), we fetched a ride on the streetcar home. Well it might have been called A Streetcar Named McHungry because McDonald’s was the next-stop. After interacting with some homeless dude at the drive thru (hey the man was hungry- he needed a burger at 3am, I understood him) we got the pimply faced McEmployee to read us our options. Now, being super health conscious, I went with the small Rolo McFlurry (lying to yourself at 3AM is easy). Maybe it was the cool spring air, or maybe it was just my gut, but it was quite delicious.  

McFlurry: McF@%!ing Delicious

After being in a sugar daze, I wandered home and collapsed, gut bloated, and satisfied. Now this is an extreme example. Let me preface by saying my eating is clean 99% of the time, and such an excursion happens at most, once every two weeks, but it helps illustrate a point. Live your life, enjoy your life, don’t be a slave to a diet. The most important thing is to keep an active healthy lifestyle, so that you can bake a cake and eat it too. A firm bun cake that is.

Now go forth, be free, but ask yourself this, have you worked out today?