I hate fake shit. When something pretends to be something it isn’t, I snap. Maybe its ever since I found out Santa wasn’t real (oops spoiler alert), but I can’t stand insincerity. I like things to be presented as they really are. Enough is enough. First it started with Subway. Using Jared as a perfect vehicle for their campaign, Subway managed to successfully convince the world that eating sandwiches would make you lose weight.

Jared: the epitome of skinny fat, not the ideal physique if you ask me, I can see the manboobs through the shirt pal

Huh? So buying three highly processed, low-fat (YES THATS THE ANSWER!), sandwiches prepared by prepubescent teens is the cure to losing weight? Could it be that, or the fact that for an obese person, going from eating 10,000 calories of JUNK to a caloric restricted diet of 1,800 calories of JUNK will cause massive weight loss? Hmmm I wonder.  

Omar wonders as he eats his Dutch Beemster cheese, given to him by a client P.S.  I get the message, I’m cheesy (either that or she meant I stink- either way).

Now it seems Subway isn’t even trying to project a healthy image as they offer meal combos with a pop, cookie and sandwich. A cookie? Could it be one of those “low fat“ (i.e. high sugar) cookies?

Clearly not a fan of fruits

Speaking of cookies, now they are trying to tell us that some cookies are healthy for us. From the “organic” all-natural Stevia low-fat cookies to the green tea infused sugar soft drinks, marketers are trying really hard to repackage unhealthy as healthy. The problem isn’t Subway or the franken-cookie manufacturers; they just managed to transform our rationalization into massive profits.

Fresh produce one way, heart-attack to go the other way

The problem is that we WANT to be fooled. On the one hand we know the food is bad for us. On the other hand we want to pretend that we are being healthy. It’s the same reason why 5-minute ab videos sell: we want the easy quick solution. We want to believe five minute abs are achievable, that losing weight might only take one simple pill, that Clay Aiken might be straight.

So lets stop lying to ourselves, lets start putting forth the effort. Prepare your meals, and avoid franken foods (if you microwave it, dump it). To put it another way, if your grandma wouldn’t recognize it as food than its not real food! A complaint I hear is “but Omar I don’t have time”- look you have time to read the blog of some random 21-year old punk- I think you for sure have time to prepare your meals.

“What you mean to tell me I have to MAKE my OWN food? Arggh I`m going to take my shirt off to protest!“

Finally look, if you want to indulge, just indulge, don’t try to justify it or sugarcoat it. My philosophy is train hard so you can eat the cake, don’t eat a shitty tasting organic “ethically raised“ franken-cake. And thats how the cookie crumbles, the “all-natural” low-fat, vitamin C infused, goji berry flavoured, gluten-free, organic cookie of course.

Have you been a victim of false advertising? Share below!